Heal and Rebuild Trust After Infidelity
It is devastating to discover your partner has been cheating. Being betrayed by a partner is painful, and this break of trust can make everything else in your life feel shaky, because most people build their lives in conjunction with their partner.
Are you and your partner trying to repair the relationship, but find it hard to make any progress? Does it feel like the pain does not go away?
Let me help you. I've been helping couples for almost 20 years. I have helped hundreds of couples heal their damaged relationship. There is a common notion that a relationship cannot come back from damage like that, but that is not true. It depends what you two make of it, you could come back stronger than ever. For the relationship to heal, there are specific steps that need to happen. I can guide you and show you how we can make progress.
For couples facing the crisis and damage of betrayal
Elvina Lui,PhD is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, specializing in working with couples.
Can you relate to these?
Wanting to connect again but the pain hurts too much
Wanting to accept the apology but find it hard to forgive
Feelings of hopelessness and a bleak outlook for the future of the relationship
A Straight Forward Approach to Repairing Trust:
1 / An apology that matters
Often the partner who cheated tries apologizing but the apology does not land, even though there is sincere remorse. This means there are additional layers of hurt that has not been addressed. It is an injury that is under the surface, like a broken bone or internal bleeding. I will help both of you understand what is under the surface so we can actually address and heal it.
2 / Uncover the underlying issues that led to this betrayal
To betray a partner you love is an extremely self-destructive choice, this is not something that happens out of the blue. Something has gone wrong that led to a system wide failure. If we can identify how things went wrong, we can address each issue and prevent it from ever happening again.
3 / Rebuilding from ground zero, with the broken pieces in front of us
The person who was unfaithful needs to earn trust with actions their partner can see and feel. Trust can slowly grow back if we give the relationship a safe and loving environment to heal. We may need to rebuild the very foundation of how you communicate and connect with each other. By the end, you will have a relationship that is deeper and stronger than ever before.
When therapy works ...
Feel safe with each other again
Infidelity and betrayal destroys the sense of safety, that is part of why it hurts so much--before this, the relationship felt safe, life felt safe, and all that changed. There will be many steps to rebuild a broken relationship, like a severely injured body that may need multiple surgeries and time in physical therapy. We can do that for the relationship. As long as both of you want this, we can fix it, even if it takes effort and time.
Restore Intimacy
The broken trust has likely eliminated any sembalance of intimacy. We will not rush this. Sexual trust requires the deepest kind of vulnerability. This is something we will work towards.
Maintaining Connection
After we pick up all the pieces and put the relationship back together, you will have learned what went wrong, and I would have taught you how to navigate around and prevent future problems. When we end therapy, I will send you off, and you two will need to protect and nurture the relationship, never letting it get damaged like this again.
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, working with couples since 2007
I have specialized in couples therapy since 2007, I cannot believe it has been almost 20 years.
Most couples I meet have tried to fix their relationship problems on their own but could not figure out how. Even though the two people love each other and are committed, sometimes that's just not enough. A breach of trust, a heated argument, financial hardship, and countless other things can damage a relationship.
That's where I come in, as a seasoned expert, to swiftly diagnose and treat the problem. There are a lot of different elements that can go into it--learning to be vulnerable, forgiving old resentment, learn to communicate differently, etc. I will help you figure it out. I will give you specific and practical instructions, so we can get some tangible results.
Elvina Lui, PhD, LMFT
What is the hourly rate? How much does a session cost?
My hourly rate is $250 for 60 minutes. When we set our appointments, you can choose to reserve a longer time block if you wish. Otherwise the standard session is 60 minutes.
The initial consultation is free. If you make an appointment, there is no futher committment beyond the first appointment.
I offer evening as well as weekend appointments. I meet with clients in person as well as online.
My hourly rate reflects my extensive clincal experience and unique set of skills:
19 years of clinical experience
Doctorate level training
My bilingual and bicultural background makes me uniquely skilled in helping mixed race couples and couples coming from different backgrounds. The majority of my clients have had conflicts stemming from cultural differences.
My career is split between the Bay Area (2007-2018) and Pasadena (2018-present). These two communities are made up of very different subcultures and are fueled by different industries, but what they have in common are the highly educated couples working in high acheiving, demanding careers. Back then, I worked with clients from all the major tech companies in Silicone Valley, as well as professionals from the medical field and corporate America. Now in SoCal I have worked with creatives working in the entertainment industry and music industry, as well as professionals working in the space industry.
In both locations, I worked with people on the spectrum as well as people diagnosed with ADHD, depression, and anxiety.
In both locations, I worked with gender diverse couples with a range of sexual orientations.
My clinical work is trauma-informed, which is at the core of many relationship problems, whether sexual trauma or emotional trauma.
Along with substance addictions, I am experienced in non-chemical addictions including gambling addiction and sex addiction. I have been a guest speaker on non-chemical addiction at the University of San Francisco, Holy Names University, and Golden Gate University.
In Person Office in Old Town Pasadena
16 N Marengo Ave, Suite 217, Pasadena, CA 91101
Serving Pasadena and the Greater San Gabriel Valley, my office is located down the street from Pasadena City Hall as well as Old Town Pasadena. Conveniently located off of the 210, it is a short drive from Altadena, South Pasadena, San Marino, Arcadia, Alhambra, La Cañada Flintridge, Glendale, Monterey Park and San Gabriel.
There is limited street parking but there are several parking garages within the block.
Fall in Love Again and Live Happily Ever After
Life is too short. Don't settle for a mediocre relationship. Get professional help now, it will benefit you for the rest of your life.
Address
16 N Marengo Ave., Suite 217, Pasadena, CA 91101
Contacts
(626)464-1651
info@elvinaluiphd.com