Professional Premarital Counseling
Getting premarital counseling is the most practical way a couple can prepare for their married life, to start the marriage on a strong foundation.
Premarital counseling is consistently found to improve relationship satisfaction and people consistently report that it helped their relationship.
Elvina Lui, PhD is a couples therapy specialist and has almost 20 years of clinical experience with marriage problems. She has seen everything. She can help you and your partner prepare for marriage, create that strong foundation and learn how to avoid pitfalls.
Preparing for the rest of your lives together
Elvina is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, a certified sex therapist, and has a Ph.D. in Clinical Sexology. She is bilingual in Cantonese and experienced with biracial and bicultural couples.
Couples need to have discussions and agreements about these topics before they get married:
Are we good at resolving conflict and making-up after arguments?
How will we structure our finances? Will we have a budget?
After our honeymoon phase, are we good at sustaining our emotional and sexual bond?
Are we on the same page about having children? Do we agree on parenting philosophies?
Do we agree on what boundaries and closeness to keep with both sides of our family?
Do we have compatible values and life goals?
A Straight Forward Approach to Premarital Counseling
1 / Going over the checklist of topics
We will go through a checklist of topics, to make sure we have addressed and planned for all the elements of married life.
2 / Assess which areas need more work
Our discussions will reveal areas that need more help. This could be unresolved disagreements or resentment, it could be a difficult conversation that you keep avoiding.
3 / Creating agreements, getting on the same page
The purpose of premarital counseling is to lay everything out on the table and reach mutual agreements. By the end, the two of you will have a clear game plan for the marriage.
When premarital counseling works ...
A Strong Start for the Marriage
Beyond the excitement and romance of getting married, premarital counseling prepares you for the practical parts of getting married. Marriage is a life-long commitment that involves financial and logistical teamwork. Think of premarital counseling as the training and conditioning for athelets before a big game.
Being on the Same Page, Being a Team
Premartial counseling gives you the road map and guidebook, so you two will already have a game plan for the coming stages of the marriage. Instead of scrambling to react to a surprise, you two will be a prepared team that has already created a strategy for things like career changes, starting a family, buying a home, welcoming a second child, saving for retirement, etc.
Sustaining Life-long Love and Intimacy
Over the course of a marriage, people grow and mature as they experience each life event. If you do not make a point to stick together, the waves and the currents of life will eventually make you two drift apart. When sea otter couples fall asleep, they hold hands, so the current doesn't separate them. You must do the same for your relationship, that no matter what comes, that the two of you face it together and you grow together.
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Certified Sex Therapist, Ph.D. in Clinical Sexology
I have specialized in couples therapy since 2007, I cannot believe it has been almost 20 years.
I have come across hundreds of married couples who needed professional help, to fix something that broke in their relationship. I want to help couples before these problems even come up.
Premarital counseling works! I can help you recognize and avoid common pitfalls. I can help you prepare a game plan for hard times. I can help you get on the same page so disagreements don't come up later.
I rather help you before the problem even starts, than to see you years later when damange is already done.
If you are interested or you have questions for me, please reach out. Phone consultations are free.
What is the hourly rate? How much does a session cost?
My rate is $250 for 60 minutes. When we set our appointments, you can choose to reserve a longer time block if you wish. Otherwise the standard session is 60 minutes.
I offer evening as well as weekend appointments. I meet with clients in person as well as online.
My hourly rate reflects my extensive clinical experience and unique set of skills:
19 years of clinical experience
Doctorate level training in sex therapy
My bilingual and bicultural background makes me uniquely skilled in helping mixed race couples and couples coming from different backgrounds. The majority of my clients have had conflicts due to cultural differences.
My career is split between the Bay Area (2007-2018) and Pasadena (2018-present). These two communities are made up of very different subcultures and are fueled by different industries, but what they have in common are the highly educated couples working in high acheiving, demanding careers. Back then, I worked with clients from all the major tech companies in Silicone Valley, as well as professionals from the medical field and corporate America. Now in SoCal I have worked with creatives working in the entertainment industry and music industry, as well as professionals working in the space industry.
In both locations, I worked with people on the spectrum as well as people diagnosed with ADHD, depression, and anxiety.
In both locations, I worked with gender diverse couples with a range of sexual orientations.
My clinical work is trauma-informed, which is at the core of many relationship problems, whether sexual trauma or emotional trauma.
Along with substance addictions, I am experienced in non-chemical addictions including gambling addiction and sex addiction. I have been a guest speaker on non-chemical addiction at the University of San Francisco, Holy Names University, and Golden Gate University.
In Person Office in Old Town Pasadena
16 N Marengo Ave, Suite 217, Pasadena, CA 91101
Serving Pasadena and the Greater San Gabriel Valley, my office is located down the street from Pasadena City Hall as well as Old Town Pasadena. Conveniently located off of the 210, it is a short drive from Altadena, South Pasadena, San Marino, Arcadia, Alhambra, La Cañada Flintridge, Glendale, Monterey Park and San Gabriel.
There is limited street parking but there are several parking garages within the block.
Start your marriage on a strong foundation
Premarital counseling will prepare you for the road ahead, a life long journey that will have good times and bad times. It is exactly because we do not know what lies ahead, that we should strengthen the relationship and create an unbreakable partnership.
elvinalui@gmail.com | 16 N Marengo Ave, Suite 217, Pasadena, CA 91101 | (626)464-1651